I really have no words for the horror that happened there yesterday… Simply unimaginable. My soul aches for the families of those 6- and 7- year old children, along with the adults who were killed.

Newtown is a small, quaint, quiet New England town, community-minded, woodsy and well, it’s a typical little Connecticut town. I grew up 2 little towns over… It’s horrifying, yet even more so, knowing the town and the area in the images I’ve seen since this massacre. That the target was an elementary school is even more unimaginable. I cannot fathom the idea of having little kids’ toys wrapped under the Christmas tree that will never be opened… Families and a community shattered.

I guess my second cousin is a teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I spoke with my mom earlier today, who had spoken with her mom… But she was saying how she had locked her classroom door and got the kids into a corner. Then she started hiding them in closets and cabinets. How she thought she heard the gunman outside their door. She and her class are okay, physically. She was one of the last teachers to leave afterwards, as she was consoling a former student of hers whose sister was killed. That little kid was no older than a fourth-grader. How, or will, these students and teachers return to that school, the holidays, their lives? The teachers’ cars are still at the there… they haven’t been released yet since it’s a crime scene. That President Obama is speaking about this little CT town… The details make my mind and heart reel… For both that small town of which I know, and for us as a larger community and nation.

Update: The more I think about this, the crazier it seems, on a personal level. My mom’s cousin’s daughter is a teacher at that school. She was there. She’s 5 or 6 years younger than me. We played together at family events when growing up. That’s like something happening to one of my cousins’ kids. This didn’t affect me directly, but it affected my family directly, which in turn does affect me… That part is just sinking in.

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